Well we’ve all met obnoxious, arrogant yet successful people. When you leave their company it’s hard to find something good to say about them, but what are the traits of the people who leave a mark on your heart? The people who you love to do business with? The people that at worst, you say “what a nice guy/lady, shame the product’s wrong for us”.
Well try not to be so competitive… What! I hear you exclaim, yes, charming people are often not competitive. Imagine for example, you’ve just bought a new car; its only small (lets say a Ford Fiesta) you’ve saved hard for it for months and it’s your pride and joy, thus with a wide grin you say to a colleague “oh do you like my new car?”. The charming person will recognise your pride and regardless of the Jaguar in his garage will find something nice to say, such as “yes, I love the colour. I bet its lovely to drive”, yet the arrogant person will always come up with the negative such as “umm I bet it’s not very good on a long run though” and you’ll rightly feel hurt.
Indeed I am a lover of Dale Carnegie who said (and forgive me if I don’t quote him precisely) something along the lines of “you can make more friends by being interested in others than by getting others interested in you”.
Charming people – you know, the ones who everyone loves and love to be with; are happy to share stories of when they didn’t look so good. They’ll smile warmly and tell you of the time they (for example) were all dressed up for a meeting and slipped in the mud only to mess up their best suit before a meeting. They’ll tell you how silly they felt and you’ll like them for it.
Those same people will encourage you to speak about yourself and listen attentively.
Its all very simple really, you’re just being a nice person. Think about the last time you went out for a meal with someone; how did they behave towards the waiter/waitress? The charming person will not only take an interest in you, but take an interest in the person serving you; they’ll treat them well and with due respect. I once had a lunch with a colleague who was quite rude to the waitress. I felt truly sorry for her and embarrassed. At one point in his career this same person had left one job as it became too much for him and he became ill. Later he wondered why no-one was interested enough to contact him regards his health. Truthfully I was not surprised. If he took an interest in them I’m sure they would have called.
The point is that people buy from people they like and it’s perfectly possible to make people like you. When you meet, try looking them in the eye and with a firm handshake and a warm smile, take an interest in them. You will be surprised how people respond.